My name is Jared; I’m 40 (at the time of writing this) and happily married… finally. But I’ve also been on a lot of dates in my time and in the later years they were all dates from online dating sites. Of course I learned over time what questions to ask on a date or better yet, 1000 questions for couples. Obviously these questions will be different for women then they are for men so I’ll fill you in on all the great questions men should be asking below, but first (in case you’re about to go on a date) I’ll let my wife Emily list some great advice for women on questions to ask guys on dates:
- Do you pray or believe in God?
- Do you have or want children?
- Are you divorced or ever been married?
- How do you get along with spouse our ex?
- What do you prefer, summer or winter?
- What is your favorite vacation place?
- Have ever been convicted of a crime or felony?
- Have you ever had a restraining order?
- Any STD’s?
- Are you a sports fan?
- Do you drive a truck?
That’s my wife’s quick list of questions based on her past dating experiences. These are by no means comprehensive or right for everyone. The key is to think, what’s important to you? And how important are those traits and qualities in someone else?
Another small peace of advice here… Get rid of the list of your perfect mate. Seriously, if you think someone else is going to have everything on your list and make you happy, then you’re never going to find that perfect someone.
Granted, I think I found the perfect person for me in my wife Emily, but then I found love and acceptance for self first (as did she) and then we found each other. Seriously, if you’re looking for someone else to make you happy, it’s never going to happen. You need to be happy with yourself first. But, at the same time, it’s OK to sent boundaries and know what you want in a partner. As my wife always tells her friends when asked about relationship questions and advice, “you set the rules for how others treat you.”
First and foremost, the best quality to look for in a partner, again, something I learned from my father-in-law after meeting my wife: find someone kind. I know, it seems simple but kindness isn’t always that hard to find. Which brings up the idea of putting together some questions that help you determine indirectly if the person you’re dating or thinking of dating is kind. Some of which can be found in 1000 Questions For Couples.
Before I get into the questions you should ask on your next date… which maybe it’s in 30 minutes! If so I’d better get to it right? I first want to fill you in on an important secret I wish I’d known about say… 100 dates ago!
This may save you some time and heartache; I know it would have saved me all of that plus a ton of money on dates that went nowhere! What I realize now is most of the questions I asked were wrong, and should have come straight from a relationship expert like Michael Webb, author and creator of 1000 Questions For Couples. Had I known all the right questions explained by Michael, I could have saved a lot of time and a TON of money on worthless dates and relationships that went nowhere.
Here’s just one simple tip that Michael suggests:
“Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.”
“An estimated 83% of divorces would not take place if couples asked each other the right questions” – and that can start with the first date!
To put into perspective the types of questions I asked, the night before I met my wife Emily I went out on the date from hell. It started off with a nice dinner but I pretty much could tell right off the bat there wasn’t any chemistry. Besides asking the right questions, you really should meet in person as soon as possible.
Here’s a list of questions I asked and her response:
- Question: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would that be?
- Her Answer: Las Vegas
- yes, that’s right, she said Las Vegas. Now, I’m not saying Vegas isn’t a bad place to visit or someones “dream” vacation, let’s just say I was looking for something a little more inspirational.
- Question: What do you like to do for fun or what hobbies do you have?
- Her Answer: hanging out and drinking
Granted I was looking for a little more than that. Now, here is where the whole online dating things come into play. VERY IMPORTANT TIP FOR ONLINE DATING!
MEET IN PERSON ASAP.
Just as important is the topic of being safe! NEVER, under any circumstances meet someone you’ve just met online other than a very public place. I’m not talking about “hooking up” as soon as possible here, we’re just talking about meeting for coffee or better yet, lunch somewhere very safe and public.
The reason why lunch is such a good idea is it’s time constrained. Meaning, if you only have so much time for lunch if the date sucks and there’s no chemistry you have an acceptable and legitimate out!